2021 – What Will You Miss?

For 33 years I have started each new year writing a list of intentions.  Some of those have been very general and some have been specific opportunities for that year.  Over the decades many have been “checked off the list”; some have been moved to the next year; and a few were “released” as the year evolved.

Eight years ago I adopted the “one little word” philosophy… as the guiding theme for the year.  I have loved the lessons and the clarity they layered into those intentions.

2020 started in much the same way – another list and another “word” …. “Forward”.  We were entering a new chapter of our lives… unknown territory to navigate, challenges to face and paths to choose.  Well 2020 had different ideas for all of us.  As a nation and as individuals we faced so many unprecedented challenges.  A world-wide pandemic threatened the health and safety of everyone, causing unrelenting economic consequences and creating great divisions.  My word for the year seemed to become a universal refrain as we all tried to find our way “forward”.  I won’t say anymore as everyone weathered the many storms that the past year delivered.

Enter 2021.  We celebrated (in a quiet, very socially distant fashion) closing the chapter on 2020.  Nothing, however, was going to change overnight.  The lock downs, the uncertainty of plans, and the cancellations continue. In our house, the “year that was” presented its grand finale in decimating our entire holiday season.  For the first time in 33 years, what has always been a cherished family time was completely cancelled.

On January 1^st I looked at my list from the prior year.  Let’s just say that while we found a way “forward”, it did not even faintly resemble the intentions – general or specific – set out for the year.

Albert Einstein famously said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.”  With uncertainty still shrouding the year to come, something needs to change.  It was clear that for the unforeseeable future, it would not be external circumstances.

I have always been a worrier, with a capital “W”.  Internalizing all the worries of 2020 was a crazy ride.  Between the extremes of pushing forward; railing against fate and everything in between, it was a year not to repeat.  So something has to change – and it starts with worry.  To paraphrase Leo Buscaglia, “Worry does not prevent tomorrow’s sorrows; it only robs today of its joy.”  My first intention is learning to release worry.  To not give it space to rob the day we have, which is today.

My nephew, a collegiate athlete, repeatedly impressed me with his clarity on “controlling the controllables”.  His ability to let go of losses and disappointments that he had zero control over and move confidently forward with what he could control was and is a continuing inspiration.

My youngest brother, facing his second stage 4 cancer battle in five years in the midst of worldwide craziness continues to learn and to teach us every day.  A process for never losing hope; for how to battle; when to rest; clarity of purpose; and continuously standing back up after severe blows, inspires me to find joy and gratitude in each day we are given.

As I looked back over the lessons of 2020, I decided my intentions for 2021 would all be items that do not rely on external circumstances.  No matter what 2021 brings, the choice to accomplish or release those intentions will be mine.

At the other end of the spectrum is my “word for the year”.  OK- actually this year it is two words… “Carpe Diem”.  I commit to seizing the day and whatever opportunities that day presents.  I will be ready.

The truth is that I have no idea what life milestones of family and friends may or may not be accessible.  I will be ready to find ways – new or old – to show up.  Adventures, years in the planning, may or may not be able to happen.  Either way … I will enjoy the process.  I will make the most of the extra time. And I will be ready when the time is right.

Yes, 2021 requires a fresh mindset.  Disregard worry.  Disregard the uncontrollables. Close the door on the roller coaster of 2020 and embrace the change from within.

In looking at my intentions for the year, I asked myself two questions.

1. If absolutely nothing changes in 2021 – what will you do?
2. If everything went back to “normal” magically overnight … WHAT WOULD YOU MISS?

Wow.  There were actually several of things I would miss.  So I started asking friends and family the same question. Far and away the top response was “time”…  the slower pace, the additional time with family… and the lack of “busy-ness”.  Several said that even when things go “back to normal” there would be a lot of “busy-ness” that wouldn’t make it back onto their schedules.

So, for all the things we would miss … DO THEM NOW.

And you know what?  The answers to question two become the answers for question one.  We do not really know then the window will close.  But just as my brother Jeff inspires us to cherish each day – I look forward to maximizing each and every one. With the lessons of 2020 well in tow, let’s go seize the day for any and all opportunities it presents.  Each day is truly a gift.

CARPE DIEM! 

Jaimi                                  

For those interested in following my brother, Jeff Julian’s blog, it is https://teamjefforg.wordpress.com/blog/